I am NOT the next Biggest Loser (part I)

I really never would have thought that auditioning for The Biggest Loser would even be a viable option for me. I am newly single and, in the least, it would mean leaving all three of my kids with their father, who is very capable but I would assume that would just be too much to ask. That is until I randomly threw it out there one day and his response startled me. It was: "you should totally do it! If you got on the show we would make it work!" So, what was in my mind as a "what if"  became a "will do." And quickly I might add. The Kansas City casting call was less than a couple of weeks after that conversation. 

My plans for that weekend were to be heading up to Minnesota for my summer visit, so I had to let my mom in on my attempts--she was all for it too.

All I needed for the casting call was myself, a head shot photo, and an application that was handed out once we got there- and there was PLENTY of time to fill that out while we waited...and sweated...and waited...and waited...and sweated some more! It was June 30th and 100+ temps and we were standing outside of Nebraska Furniture Mart for HOURS! Aside from being miserably hot, it was actually really fun. And a bit freeing. I was standing there with nearly 800 people who were all there for one reason. We were fat and we're hoping to do something about it. Normally in a crowd, as a fat person, I'm very self-conscious--trying my best to conceal what is literally bursting at the seams. (it seems silly to even try, but I do.) I would explain it as this constant underlying feeling or energy that wishes for my presence to be different that it is. The sad part is, that on some level, this means that I'm focusing more negative energy on myself rather than on loving and sharing life freely with other people. Freedom. Freedom to love--without fear--of what someone else thinks of me...and to believe that they could love me back, with all of my imperfections (whether I'm fat or not.) This the goal here. On that hotter than hell day, I was not alone in this. There were several of us standing in line together that got to chatting and it was fun to get to know them and spend the day with them....in our own fabulously-fat-freedom kind of way! :)

SO, after standing in line for about 7 hours, we finally reached our destination. This part is short and sweet, cuz the interview...was short. and. sweet. 

20 people entered into a curtained partition in two groups of ten, one with each casting director. We were told to go down the line and give them our vitals: Name, age, occupation and why we wanted to be on the show. THAT. WAS. IT. Needless to say...it was a bit of a let down. As I walked out of there I remember thinking: how in the world do they choose call backs from that!? Out of 800 people, they were to narrow the group down to 25 individuals whom they would call back to interview on camera. I couldn't imagine there being any rhyme or reason to their method and CERTAINLY could not imagine me making that cut....not off of the tiny bit I said....so....I packed up the car and headed up to Minnesota.

It was about 9:06pm (about 1/2 way through my trip) when my phone lit up with an L.A. California area code!!!!!!!! WHAT!?!?!!!!! I immediately started hyperventilating and answered the phone with a completely fakishly calm tone: hello? It was Ashely, one of the casting directors, and she said she wanted to invite me for a call back interview! I think I said something like: 'what!? Are you serious!!!!' then I laughed and said: 'I am 1/2 way up to Minnesota already!!" She was confused because she thought I was from Kansas City. I explained that I was but since I was not counting on a call back, I'd left for my regular trip to MN to see family because on the "off chance" that I got a call back I would just drive back. Never did I think this would happen...but, there I was...in the twilight-zone-of-biggest-loser-possibility! 

And in that place I remained for the next 7 weeks...one day...and 20+ hours.

 (I just now counted that...don't think I was that obsessed! haha)

The next few days where a complete whirlwind which involved nearly 40 hours of driving through 4 states (four times each), call back preparations, a 1+ hour on camera interview/blubber reveal and a broken down car to boot! But I'll leave that for part II. Cuz I'm tired just writing THIS part!!!